Life Changing is not Life Shattering
by DarkIthil
Summary: The war ended and some people found their piece at that time. Not Toph – she has a long way to go to finally confront her parents. Moreover, Zuko owns her that damn fieldtrip, por fin! After all, the search for the Avatar hardly could be counted as one.
1. Chapter 1

Just a story that tells about the life changing fieldtrip of Toph and Zuko. Yes, it has been written before, but the entirety of fanfics has to outbalance canon's unjust situation with Toph!

Not a romance, but a pre-romance – come on, people, they are a bit too young yet! AU-ish in a way – there is no reunion with Mai.

OMG!, no warnings, well, except for my strange attempts at humor.

Disclaimer: don't own, I wish I did, but reality strikes hard. Just like Toph.

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**Life**** Changing is not Life Shattering**

**- Chapter One -**

They were like cockroaches. This whole place was full of cockroaches.

Toph heard a sound of distant conversation. She crushed another stone at her feet.

On second thought, cockroaches were decent kind of insects, roaming on the ground, easy to spot and avoid, or, even better, to crush. Therefore, they – all these people – were more like mosquitoes: little, annoying, flying soundlessly, she could "see" them only when they landed on her, stupid bugs.

There was a sound of footsteps, someone was approaching her as quietly as possible.

"This place is already taken, Sparky," Toph was never known for her tact. "I suggest you look for another one."

The young Fire Lord looked startled, then smiled:

"It seems you've found my secret hiding place."

He hopped down beside her.

The secret hiding place, as he put it, was a rather cozy, covered in mud alcove, a relatively quiet one in this mad palace full of nosy ministers.

She humphed, "So why are you hiding, oh Almighty Fire Lord?"

Zuko grimaced, "I'm not hiding, I just wanted a little moment of peace, away from everyone."

It seemed the "mosquitoes" were bugging him as well.

In these few months after the war ended, life was full of such important things as political meetings, sorting out the Fire Nation's priorities and relations with other Nations. It seemed this task was unbearable even for the Avatar, while Zuko sometimes was restraining himself from torturing particularly annoying species of his councilors and the ambassadors, reminding himself not to restore to Azula's methods. But, boy, he could dream.

Toph grinned, punching him not too gently:

"Don't worry, Princess, it'll be even tougher later on."

Zuko rubbed the abused arm and muttered an unhappy "Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only optimist around here."

She just laughed. Optimism, well, she sure needed to restock it lately.

"So," the Fire Lord began, rather hesitantly at that, "what are you going to do now?"

Oh, he just had to nail it down, didn't he?

In all honesty, Toph was becoming painfully aware she had to move on, now that everything was peaceful, and there was no need for her to help the Avatar, to fight.

Right, to move on... It wasn't hard, was it? Every one of them was doing it, some with more luck than others.

"I don't know," she answered quietly, resting her head on her knees.

Zuko looked around, spotted all the cobbles, considered the possible damage he would be subjected to with his next question, and asked cautiously:

"Don't you want to see your family again?"

She bristled, turned angrily at him, but for once though that he didn't have anything to do with the core of her problem. Toph sighed:

"I do, and I don't. I do miss them but I just know they are not going to accept me for who I am." And maybe they're going to try and lock me away – again! – from all the terrible world that could harm poor defenseless me, she snorted at that thought.

"You think that after what had happened, after all the things you did, they still think you're a fragile little girl?" Zuko really doubted the sanity of people who were able to associate the word "fragile" with the earthbender sitting next to him.

However, seeing as the girl merely nodded, he continued, "After all, you're a war veteran, a whole lot of people are terrified of you."

Toph grinned at him, "I know a Fire Lord who's terrified of me."

The aforementioned Fire Lord chuckled, "Maybe they should see that play with the buff guy casting you; now that would give them a hint." Now they both tittered before becoming still.

The sun was setting, people-mosquitoes were buzzing more quietly now. The alcove was full of pensive silence.

Finally, the firebender voiced his cogitations:

"Maybe, it is possible for you to show them you're strong, and not just in fighting."

Toph arched a brow, "And how am I supposed to do that, our master strategist?"

Zuko got up and squatted down in front of her, touching her hands.

"Maybe, just maybe, there is a way to make you able to see."

She recoiled, "But I've seen hundreds of doctors..."

He shook his head, "Wait, just hear me out. I know you must've seen a lot of doctors in your life, but this is not about making your _eyes_ see, it's more spiritual. The Avatar told me there is a guru, who can teach these sorts of things. I don't quite get it myself, and I don't want you to raise your hope too much, because it is quite possible the guy wouldn't be able to help you."

She sat there stunned, taking all this in.

Zuko proceeded, "The place is not too far away from an island I wanted to visit for months, the island where my mother is. Right now the negotiations quieted down for a few weeks, I'm sure my uncle will be able to handle everything for a while. I don't know if this guru can help you or not, but if there's a chance he can, it's better than sitting here and crushing rocks, is it not?"

Toph took a few deep breathes, and looked at the direction she presumed his face was:

"Well, you do own me a life changing fieldtrip."

They both smiled.

_- TBC -_

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**AN.** A most amazing thing happened when I started watching "Avatar" – my two favorite characters are not both males! So, Toph and Zuko are in need of some love!

I'm curious to know what you think of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Life Changing is not Life Shattering**

**- Chapter Two -**

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"Zuko, you have to look within yourself  
to save yourself from your other self.  
Only then will your true self reveal itself."

Zuko, imitating Iroh

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The sun was shining on the clouds, giving them just a bit of golden hue, making them look puffy, almost eatable and quite appetizing. Too bad Toph couldn't see them.

She and Zuko were flying in an ex-war balloon, now a proud and quick transport facility of Fire Nation.

The girl was rather glad it wasn't the bison, Appa, for once – at least she could sense what was inside of the balloon. Nevertheless, it didn't make her feel any better.

"Toph," Zuko gently started.

She didn't let him finish: "Who says I'm nervous? I'm not nervous. I'm just fine!"

Okay, maybe she was, but just a little. And considering where they were heading, she had all the rights in the world to be, dammit!

Zuko looked at her searchingly, then informed: "We're here," looking at the picks of Eastern Air Temple.

She tried to brace herself – this was it! The moment of truth was a step away.

***

On a plateau near an entrance to one of the temples they saw a man, dressed in monk's clothes. Who was standing on his head, maintaining his balance in the wind.

"Well, hello there, young travelers!" the man greeted cheerfully, without changing his position.

Zuko, with difficulty getting in terms with the situation, answered, "Hello... We are looking for Guru Pathik."

"We're Aang's friends," added Toph.

"My name is Pathik. And some people might consider me a Guru," he giggled.

"What are you doing?" Toph finally couldn't restrain her bewilderment with the man who was supposed to help her.

"What a wonderful question!" the Guru exclaimed, merrily dangling his legs in the air. "I was pondering over some things, and thought my opinion was regrettably one-sided. So I had to change the angle! I've already tried lying on my stomach, but it didn't help."

Zuko arched an eyebrow, "And does this... angle help you?"

Pathik just shrugged, "Of course not! After all, changing your body position is irrelevant and illusive. But you two sure look funny like this!" He laughed.

"Guru Pathik," Toph said tentatively, and trying to ignore the peculiar situation, "we came here to ask you, if you could..."

"Say no more, child!" the man interrupted. "I knew you were coming. Avatar Aang told me about you two: the blind girl and the banished prince, though you're the Fire Lord already, no?"

The teen nodded. Pathik finally jumped to his feet, and smiled at Toph:

"I can teach you how to see not with your eyes but with your spirit. It will be difficult, so you must be patient."

She drew a deep breath, shaking a little, could it be true?

But the Guru simply continued, "And first of all, you must tell me all the details of recent events, and don't forget to mention all about new food dishes in Fire and Earth Nations, after all I've been there a long time ago. Come this way."

The two ill-starred travelers could only uncertainly follow the strange man.

***

Midday found Zuko pacing near the edge of the cliff, looking at the scenery bellow. It was just about time Toph had her first lesson with the Guru, and the firebender vaguely wondered what he was going to do all the time they were sure to spend in this place. And then he would face his mother...

"You have a lot of troubles on your mind, young Fire Lord," Pathik's voice startled him.

Zuko hesitated with the answer, "I'm going to see someone important to me, someone I haven' seen for a long time."

The Guru smiled, "Are you sure you must worry about it now?"

"It's not like I want to, I just can't stop it."

"Why don't you practice your firebending then?" Seeing an uneager look on the teen's face, the man added, "Look at the wind: Air – it's free, unconcerned and boundless. Try to give your Fire the qualities of Air."

"What?" Zuko asked. "But how?"

The wise man made a broad gesture with his hand, indicating all the space in front: "The division of four elements is illusive. The Fire you can bend is more than what you think it is – it has much more qualities. Try making it less like a Fire and more like a wind. But don't forget it would still be Fire."

He smiled, "It would help you understand more about the world around you and yourself within the world. Also it would keep your mind off troubles."

With the final wish "Good luck!", the man went away, leaving Zuko gazing at the wide space.

He muttered: "Help me understand more about the world around me and myself within the world..."

The Fire Lord groaned.

***

Guru Pathik was sitting cross-legged near the creek. He looked through half open eyes at his companion, who was practically jumping instead of sitting still.

"You have to calm down, child," he instructed.

Toph nearly snapped, "I am calm!" Well, at least she was trying. "And I'm not a child!"

Her teacher sighed: "If your spirit is not comfortable inside your body, how do you expect it to be comfortable when being inside someone else's body?"

"What? What do you mean?" that information was rather confusing.

"What you are going to learn," the Guru explained, "the way to see the real world with your spirit means your spirit has to leave your body, that is blind, and partly enter another body, that can see."

The girl gasped, trying to imagine the whole process. Pathik continued:

"The Avatar is the bridge between this world and the spirit world, but other people can cross the line as well, some better, others not so. However, in your case you don't have to enter the other world, nor for your spirit to completely leave your body. You have to learn how to make your spirit reach out and touch the spirit of another being, preferably a friendly one, so to share the other's sight sense."

The earthbender asked timidly, "Am I really going to be able to do all that, it sounds so complicated and difficult."

Guru Pathik smiled at her, "Have no worries. I will teach you how to be in peace with yourself, and then the way for your spirit to leave your body and touch another without disturbing it. But first you have to calm down, child."

And for once Toph didn't protest against being called a child, but simply closed her eyes and drew a deep, calming breath.

_- TBC -_

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**An:** I couldn't resist "unleashing my imagination" and writing about a wise man giving lessons to poor souls. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing about it.

**To those of you, who are really into all the spiritual awareness and the likes:** firs of all, what are you doing visiting this site? And second, I've made the story up, all the teachings are the products of my imagination (and maybe mass media), so I hope I haven't somehow offended your ways and views.


	3. Chapter 3

**Life Changing is not Life Shattering**

**- Chapter Three -**

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The Stars and the Moon – always silent observers – could see two people sitting around a campfire in a sheltered corner of the Eastern Air Temple. And it wasn't any ordinary campfire, for its behavior was very peculiar. Sometimes it started spreading up and around, curling and swirling in a whirlpool of flames, and in a minute it would almost stay still, unmoving, only glowing evenly, but in a blink of an eye it was back to burning in a normal campfire way.

Zuko, being uncharacteristically animated, was trying to explain something to Toph:

"Bending Fire in the way it had qualities of Air was the easiest. And thanks to your wonderfully helpful personality," – this part was said sarcastically, Zuko quickly tried to dodge a punch. – "Ouch! Don't do that! I'm serious, without you, it would be quite impossible for me to even imagine how Fire could possibly resemble a rock. Thank you."

To her immense surprise, Toph felt her cheeks getting warm in response to his gratitude.

However the firebender went on without dwelling on the subject:

"But how in hell am I supposed to make Fire resemble Water? – They are complete opposites!" he threw his arms up in despair.

"I don't know, Sparky. Imagine what kind of advice Guru Pathik would give you about it."

Said Guru had left the two of them alone a few hours ago, claiming he needed to hunt "spiritual food for his stomach".

Zuko just groaned in annoyance, "Sometimes I wonder how big the difference between wise and downright crazy men is. What would Guru Pathik advise? Well..."

He set down in lotus position, put his arms palms up on his knees, closed his eyes and started in a slightly raspy, drawling senile voice:

"Wisdom is an illusion. When you accept who you are and how you interact with the world, you achieve real wisdom. Everything else is illusive... But wait!" – he covered his face with an arm in mock horror. – "Is hunger illusive as well? And what about food? I must think about it in a different angle" Zuko plopped down to lie on his back.

Toph was laughing, "That was pretty good. I didn't know the mighty Fire Lord had talent in impressions."

He just smirked, "You know, the strangest thing is, I think the part about real wisdom somehow made sense."

"It's because you are going mad yourself," the earthbender teased.

Her companion was gazing at the stars; he said quietly, "For the first time in my life I managed to create a bolt of lightning. It wasn't very big, was gone in a moment and it actually hurt, but nevertheless I did it."

"That's great!" Toph grinned. "Maybe soon you'll be able to not get your ass whipped in a spar against me."

The firebender looked at her, "How are you doing with all that spirit seeing thing?"

She sighed, frustrated, and started to draw curled lines in the floor with her finger.

"I don't know. Sometimes I think I can separate myself from my body, and sometimes my head hurts too much to understand anything."

Guru Pathik suggested she tried to connect a spirit of an Ingie – little, harmless and very fluffy creature. The Guru pointed out Ingies had eyesight properties similar to human, and they were friendly. After all the time spent in the Temple, Toph got fond of her hew pet, which was now snoring gently near the campfire.

"Maybe I'm too impatient to do it," she sighed.

The fire quieted down, now giving just enough light to barely illuminate the place around them.

After an inner battle, Toph finally decided to ask:

"Zuko, I was wondering, we've been staying here for a while and who knows when we will leave. I know what you're learning is important, but wasn't there something more important you wanted to do? Why didn't you go to see your mother first?"

The firebender was very quiet for a long time. Finally he said:

"I do want to meet her, very much... But... It's difficult," he looked away. "So many things happened. I've changed a lot."

Toph's brows went up in surprise, "You had some difficulties, but it's all right now, isn't it? And your uncle is so proud of you!"

Zuko shook his head, "It's not the same. He is my uncle, my teacher, while she is my mother, she has more things to be upset about." His gaze was fixed on the flames, unseeing them.

Understanding dawned.

"It is about the scar?" was almost a whisper.

The stiffening of his body was an answer enough.

"It couldn't be so bad!" she protested, unexpectedly loud.

"You are blind," he pointed out flatly.

"For now," despite everything Toph smirked, then sobered up. "But I'm not stupid, nor am I completely senseless."

She got up, strode confidently towards his seating form, kneeled down and reached her hands to his face.

"Shh," Toph admonished to his slight pulling away.

Zuko was very surprised her hands were not stiff and calloused, as he imagined a living rock would be, but warm and gentle, moving, mapping his face from his chin to forehead, and finally touching the skin of the scar.

He held his breath.

Her thumb stroked the underside of his eye, her fingers gently traced his brow.

Toph stilled, sighed, then put her arms on his shoulders and smiled:

"You look good," with that verdict the earthbender sat down.

"I think what really could make your mother upset is not the scar itself, but the way you feel about it. You've been through a lot, we all have, but if in the end all you carry is anguish and regret, – now that would be sad. So cheer up, Sparky," – she punched his arm lightly. – "Besides, you really look good."

For a moment Zuko just sat there looking at her, then his lips parted to voice a quiet "Thank you." He smiled.

And even though Toph couldn't see – yet! – she smiled back.

_- TBC -_

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**An: **It felt really good to write this chapter, all warm and fuzzy. Hope you enjoyed reading it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Life Changing is not Life Shattering**

**- Chapter Four -**

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Ray of sunlight seeped through layers of clouds and illuminated a round stone at the entry to the Eastern Air Temple, moved up to shine on folded legs of a girl sitting on the stone, and finally fell on her face. She couldn't see it.

Toph's eyes were closed. Her fluffy pet, an Ingie, was sitting by her side, occasionally looking around curiously.

The girl was concentrating her attention on even, deep breathing.

Breathe in, quickly – _she was thinking about nothing_ – breathe out, slowly – _her thoughts were an unfocused buzz, quieting down little by little_ – breathe in – _everything was still_ – breathe out – _she could not feel her body, there were no borders between her and the world_ – breathe in – _there was no body_ – breathe out – _there was just energy, its different forms, always moving_ – breathe in – _the energy could be transferred_ – breathe...

She felt nothing, she could feel very strange sensations with her entire body – her body that had no edges and was whole with the world – there were the sensation of earthbending, the smell of air and the sound of wind.

Suddenly Toph could sense something, someone else feeling, breathing, being beside her.

And the haze melted away and she saw, with the eyes of her pet, Toph saw light, shadows and colors.

The girl took a shuddering, panicked breath and lost the contact with the Ingie.

She fell on the ground, panting hard, her body trembling and sweating.

Toph squeezed her blind eyes, hugged herself tightly, let the panic expand free for a moment more, and then started to draw comfort from the earth.

Her breathing calmed down, she was just lying on the stone, feeling the world around her.

That little, brief moment her spirit connected Ingie's, Toph could see a glimpse, and it was overwhelming, like nothing she had felt before.

A few days ago, during supper – the usual time for both the firebender and the earthbender to sit calmly and rest after the day's trainings – Zuko asked her if she ever had visions in her dreams. [**1**]

"I don't know," Toph confessed. "It's very difficult to understand. I know the shapes of objects; I dream that I "see" them with earthbending, but sometimes... Sometimes I think I see something in my dreams. But I can't say if I really see, or just think that I see."

Now, lying on the stone floor of the Eastern Air Temple, Toph knew she had never dreamt anything remotely close to that.

She was calm now. She could try again. Hopefully this time she would be prepared more and wouldn't break the contact with the Ingie so fast.

The girl closed her eyes.

Breathe in, quickly – breathe out, slowly...

***

It was only now – after three days of meditations, tiring training and numerous attempts that made her nearly faint with exhaustion, after three maddening sleepless nights, filled with dreams that had colors and light – only now Toph could maintain a long spiritual connection with her pet, the connection that didn't break when she moved.

The girl was standing near the edge of a cliff, holding the Ingie in trembling hands, so it looked at the same direction she was facing.

Toph was looking at the world through huge eyes of a little fluffy creature.

It was unbelievable!

So many colors, movements in the air she couldn't sense earlier.

The girl focused on trees – they felt nearly the same through her earthbending, but they looked completely different! Every leaf had its own unique hue, all of them casting shadows. A stream was shining, reflecting bleaks of sunlight.

Her head felt slightly dizzy, but she stood there for it seemed eternity, looking, taking everything in.

The earthbender felt someone approaching, she would recognize the person whom the footsteps belonged anywhere and anytime.

Zuko stopped, not getting nearer, where the Ingie could see him.

He said quietly, "I thought that today you would be able to maintain the spiritual contact with your pet, so I figured you'd like to learn which colors are which. I brought the samples of primary ones: the leaf is green, the strip of fabric is blue and the flower is red. I'll leave them here."

He turned around and made several steps away when Toph, still not moving, called, "Wait!"

The firebender stopped, rooted to the place, "What?"

"I want to look at you," was her simple answer.

His voice was uncertain, "Are you sure?" Sure, that she wanted him – the banished prince, the traitor of his Nation, the Fire Lord, the scarred man – to be the first person she ever saw.

Moments went by, Zuko stood motionless.

Toph said, "Yes, I'm sure!" and turned around to face him.

**- Fin -**

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[**1**] As far as I know, there were researches claiming that people born blind don't have visions in their dreams. But it's not like scientists know everything about spontaneous brain activity in occipital lobe. If you have any additional information about dreams of blind people, please let me know.

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**An: **ahh, the story felt wonderful to write. Hopefully you liked it as well.

Have you noticed Zuko gave Toph a flower, a red one? *Laughs*


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